How to Write a Memoir: Essential Tips from Published Authors

Learning how to write a memoir starts with understanding both the craft and courage required for personal storytelling.

We gathered virtually with writers from around the world – from Cape Town to Arkansas, Tuscany to Scotland – for an intimate conversation about the art of memoir writing.

Our guests, Joanne Hichens (author, editor, publisher and co-facilitator of our Karoo Memoir Workshop) and Merle Levin (author of the recently published The World According to Merle), shared their wisdom on navigating the complex terrain of personal storytelling.

The discussion revealed just how universal the challenges and rewards of memoir writing truly are, with Joanne and Merle sharing insights about finding permission to tell their truth and discovering that even their “ordinary” stories hold extraordinary value.

Watch the Memoir Webinar Replay

Whether you’re contemplating your first memoir or deep into writing your life story, the insights from our conversation offer both practical guidance and the encouragement needed to continue this deeply personal creative journey. Here’s your complete guide from the webinar on how to write a memoir that resonates with readers.

How to Write a Memoir: Start Without Self-Censorship

The biggest hurdle most memoir writers face isn’t craft – it’s courage. When learning how to write a memoir, both Joanne and Merle emphasized the critical importance of giving yourself complete permission to write your truth, especially in first drafts.

“Write for yourself first,” Joanne advised. “Put in whatever you need to put into a book, including the scenes and reflections that expose you and others. We need to get it down on paper.” This doesn’t mean every raw detail will make it to the final version, but self-censorship at the writing stage kills authentic storytelling before it begins.

Merle’s experience echoes this wisdom. When writing about the challenges in her 56-year marriage, she chose honesty over comfort: “I take a hundred percent responsibility that I’ve written it from my perspective… I decided to dive deeply into the story of conflict in our marriage. I thought it was important, not just to shine things up, but to show the grit and the reality.”

The fear that people will be “repelled” by your truth is almost always unfounded. More often, vulnerability creates connection and draws readers closer rather than pushing them away.

Let Small Stories Lead the Way

One of the most liberating insights from our discussion was Merle’s revelation about the power of seemingly insignificant moments. “It’s not a story about the big stories,” she explained. “It’s some of the really small stories that showed up that I began to unpack and realize how significant they’d been.”

She shared how a simple memory of a teacher helping her embroider an apron became a significant chapter in her memoir. The key is diving deep into these moments – “unpack it really, really connect, and stay honest and true to who you are.”

These memoir writing tips remove the pressure of having lived an “extraordinary” life worthy of a book. Every life contains stories worth telling; it’s about recognising which moments shaped you and exploring why they mattered.

How to Write a Memoir: Finding Structure That Works

Many aspiring memoirists wonder how to write a memoir with the “right” structure before they begin writing. Our speakers flipped this concern on its head, suggesting that structure should serve the story rather than constrain it.

Joanne’s memoir Death and the After Parties evolved organically from writing about her husband’s death to exploring broader themes of loss from her childhood. “The more I wrote, the more I came to understand that I had broader issues around loss,” she shared. The five-part structure emerged naturally as she discovered her story’s true scope.

Different memoirs call for different approaches:

• Chronological structure works well for coming-of-age stories or specific life periods
• Thematic organisation suits memoirs exploring particular issues or relationships
• Fragmentary approaches can honor the way memory actually works

The key is letting your story find its natural shape rather than forcing it into a predetermined framework.

Memory is Subjective – And That’s Okay

A recurring question in memoir workshops concerns the “accuracy” of memory. How much can you trust your recollections? What if family members remember events differently?

The response was both reassuring and liberating: you’re not writing objective history – you’re writing your truth. We are not looking for the full objective truth which does not exist. You’re looking for your truth – how things affected you, how they changed your life.

Merle illustrated this beautifully by sharing how she moved events to different settings in her memoir when the narrative required it. The emotional truth of what happened remained intact, but she exercised creative freedom to serve the story’s flow.

Understanding how to write a memoir means accepting that your perspective is inherently subjective – and that’s what makes it valuable.

The Importance of Writing Community

Both speakers emphasized how crucial support systems are for memoir writers. “The idea that writers sit alone and don’t emerge from their cave until their scintillating work is done is really pretty antiquated,” Joanne noted.

Merle credited her breakthrough to discovering a writing community: “Writing actually is a very lonely practice. So suddenly to discover that there was a support system… was enormously helpful to me.”

Whether through writing groups, courses, mentoring programs, or retreats, connecting with other writers provides:

• Accountability to keep you writing consistently
• Perspective from readers who can see what you’re too close to notice
• Permission to tell stories you might otherwise keep hidden
• Encouragement during the inevitable difficult periods

How to Write a Memoir: Practical First Steps

For those wondering how to write a memoir and feeling overwhelmed by the prospect, the advice was refreshingly simple: just begin.

“Don’t wait to find the beginning. Let the beginning find you,” Merle suggested. Start by asking yourself: “What’s the world according to me today?” Write small stories and see what emerges. You don’t need to know the full scope of your memoir when you start.

Joanne added that the act of writing itself unlocks memory: “It’s surprising how much comes to one when one begins to write. It’s almost like watching a movie behind one’s eyelids.”

The revision process – where the real magic happens – can only begin once you have material to work with. Your first draft doesn’t need to be perfect; it needs to exist.

Why Your “Ordinary” Story Matters

Perhaps the most important message from our discussion was that you don’t need to be famous or have lived an extraordinary life to write a compelling memoir. As Joanne put it: “We all are human beings, and we want to connect with one another. And often it is those smaller stories that really we can relate to, because that’s where we connect as humans.”

Memoir readers aren’t looking for celebrity gossip – they’re seeking recognition, understanding, and connection. Your struggles, insights, and growth matter to others walking similar paths.

Moving Forward with Your Story

The conversation reinforced that memoir writing is ultimately an act of courage – the courage to examine your life honestly, to share your truth vulnerably, and to trust that your story matters. As Merle noted, “You set the stories free, and… you’ve the full liberty to do that.”

Whether you’re at the very beginning of learning how to write a memoir or have a completed manuscript, remember that every established writer started exactly where you are now. The key is to establish your routine, trust the process, and keep showing up at the page.

Your story is waiting to be told. The question isn’t whether it’s worth telling – it’s whether you’re ready to give yourself permission to tell it.

Connect with Joanne and Merle

If you watch the webinar or read this guide, we’re confident you’ll be inspired to explore the memoirs that emerged from this coming together of courage and craft. Joanne Hichens’ Death and the After Parties and Merle Levin’s The World According to Merle are excellent examples of what happens when writers give themselves permission to tell their truth—and trust that their stories matter to others walking similar paths.

Joanne: Website, Short Sharp Stories,  Instagram, Facebook and Facebook​ Author Page

Merle: Website, Instagram and Facebook​

Want support for your memoir writing journey?

• Join us at our Memoir Workshop weekend at the Karoo Art Hotel in Barrydale (4 to 6 July) where Joanne Hichens and I (Jo-Anne Richards) will guide you through the essential skills of memoir writing, followed by our optional Writing Retreat (6 to 11 July) for dedicated writing time with daily one-on-one feedback sessions.
• Consider joining our Writers’ Circle for personalised feedback at the monthly Zoom meetings. You can read our a piece of your writing of around 300 to 500 words. Perfect for getting feedback on your observation skills.
• Sign up for our flagship Creative Writing Course and in just ten modules, master the secrets of creative writing, boost your confidence and gain the skills to write the story you’ve always wanted to.
• ​Email Trish to find out more about our Mentoring Programme and Literary Assessments.
• Not sure exactly what’s right for you? Please ​email Trish to discuss your writing project and how we can best help you achieve your goals.